As a nonbeliever, it may surprise you that
I pray. However, I learned at a retreat
that sometimes, saying prayers is good for everyone. At that retreat, I started practicing praying,
and at first, it was very weird. But
then I realized something: I had actually being saying prayers all my life! I just wasn’t thinking of them in those terms.
I sometimes attend a church in
Amsterdam. I love the energy in this old
building, but I could never follow the prayers.
I’ve tried a number of other churches, other religions, but most of the
time, I just couldn’t follow the prayers. This retreat taught me how to say a prayer,
and it helped me connect to these religious ceremonies.
The first thing I learned to do when
praying is to say thank you. That’s
where all prayers start.
Then you put your intentions out
there. The intention of a prayer can be
anything—it can be that the spirit moves through you, that your friend meets
the goal they set, or that a bad situation is resolved. When I’m with someone who doesn’t know how to
pray or don’t particularly want to pray, I try to tell them about prayer
without using that term. For example, I
say that they should think about what they’re grateful for every day. I might tell them that I hope that their son
gets the grades he needs or that their daughter gets over her illness. That’s a type of prayer, even if I’m not
using that word.
Thanks to what I learned and experienced at
the retreat, I now really feel it when I say a prayer. I’m not necessarily talking to a specific
deity, but it is like talking to someone—like Tom Hanks talks to the volleyball
in the movie Castaway. In fact, his
talking to the volleyball is a type of prayer, I think.
Praying can be done alone, but it can also
be done with others. Families often pray
together. Even before I started praying,
I noted that the family on one of my favorite TV shows, Blue Blood, always said
grace before every meal. Saying a prayer
together creates a very strong group energy, and it can bring people
together.
Outside of church, prayer is often done
immediately. You don’t think about what
you’re going to say—the words should come from your belly and your heart, not
from your head. It should be a none
interference prayer. You should feel a shifting in your body after saying the
prayer as you connect to that deep spiritual energy. You should really feel connected to the
prayer and truly give thanks for what you have.
Others should also be able to really deeply feel your prayer. Most
prayers should also serve someone or something else besides you. This makes the prayer much more powerful
because you’re putting that good energy out there on behalf of someone else.
There is a structure I have for a prayer,
and this helps to practice it. First,
close your eyes and calm yourself. You
may need to go to a space where you’re alone, at least at first. Then focus on the right side of your chest
where your second open space heart is.
Feel the energy and the love there.
Start your prayer by addressing the person, deity, or concept you’re
praying to. Many religious people start
out prayers with “Dear God,” but you don’t have to. You can substitute any deity of your choice
or use concepts like spirit, universe, or nature. Pray to whatever you’re comfortable with.
Next, give thanks for something. Say what you’re grateful for. It can be anything—the nice weather, the
chance meeting with an old friend, etc.
Then you move on to the intention. What do you want or need? Why are you saying this prayer? Your intention can be for more than one
thing, and it can be for anything from a relative finding their lost pet to
world peace.
End the prayer with something like “If
that’s thy will, Let thy be done. Amen.”
If you put in the gratitude and intention,
if you truly connect with your energy, and if you put that energy out there for
others, you will find that what you pray about starts to happen. Make your intentions pure and good, and you
will find that the positive energy comes back to you. Once you’ve practiced prayer, it will become
almost second-nature, and it will become much easier to do. I strongly encourage everyone to pray every
day.
